I think the deleting the bandage file fixed that particular problem, which may have been the main problem. I've verified local files, I've reinstalled, I've loaded a fresh config. I'm not sure what it means to start in alternate install path.
I'm now pretty sure the issue is with my ISP, tho. The problems I'm having are definitely at their worst on 1st MRB, but I tried other servers & it's still there, not as pronounced. So I think it's just my crap internet.
But it's not doing that bandage spam thing anymore, so that helps that little bit.
Thanks!