New unit piss test?

[Bunt]

Trolling...

By: SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]

With help from: 1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB], and Lt. Col. B. Parker [1st MRB]

Todays, troll.... Piss tests for the unit?!?!

Hmmm sounds legit.

It all started with an innocent request to get unbanned from vent, from a silly mistake...

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Hey Sir.

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: Yes?

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Can you get me unbanned from vent

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I was rolling my blunt when all of the sudden something fell on my keyboard. It kept switching me in channel in vent and now I am banned for spamming

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: Wait so you lied to us?

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: ?

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: You actually do smoke?

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I don't smoke

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I smoke pot

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: We are going to have to kick you from the unit if you keep this up

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: ?

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I can't smoke pot in the unit?

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Sorry dude didn't know

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: But i aint quiting either

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: Well we will bring you in the vent channel and you will have to take a piss test

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: ooh I get it

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: Thats good, this isn't a joke

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Tell me sir, how do i take this piss test?

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: we take things very seriously in this unit, and do not approve of such actions

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: well you take a piss test, and then you will have to post it up on the forums

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: we all had to do it

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Allright now I know you are messing with me

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I know people who smoke in this unit

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: I'm serious, why do you think you never see K. Swartz on very often?

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: it's because all the piss test records are in his office on the forums

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: he doesn't want to deal with all that

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: it's why hes only a 1stLt.

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: it's his only job and he can't even keep up with it

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Allright I'll just ask someone else

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: thx btw buddy

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: made me laugh

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: alright but I'm just saying, they will tell you the same thing

Better let the crew know

----------

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: if liekens asks to get unbanned from vent, there is a piss test everybody has to take for smoking pot in the unit. just go along with it

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: lol

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: he just msged me

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: parker know abou this?

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: knows*

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: well kinda yeah i told him what liekens asked

-----

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: uh

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: you do know that there is a policy about smoking weed

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: you gotta take a piss test

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: what?

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: How do i take a piss test? and why didn't anyone tell me about it

-----

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: wrong

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: so wrong

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: It old him

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: they are in K. Swatz office, he takes care of it all

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: done

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: nah he will rage and who knows maybe leave the unit

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: lol

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: well hold on

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: we will get him unbanned and have a quick talk with him

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: bahah

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: why would there be a policy about smoking weed?

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: lol

1stSgt. P. Jankovski [1st MRB]: lol

----------

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Im asking a higher rank atm, I told him the same story.

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: If he reacts the same as you

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: my appolagies

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: but if not, youre a litle fucker for messing with me lol

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: oh shit..

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: omg

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: I'm telling you, you have to

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Why didn't you guys mention this on bct's?

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: It's not something we mention right away

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I am sorry but I didn't know that

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: If this is actually real, I am out of this unit.

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I am drunk/ stoned all the time

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: if you guys have a problem with that im not gonna interupt you guys

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: but I still think you guys are messing with me tho

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: you can all be in the same channel

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: I don't know who you talked to

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: but currently in my channel there is Cannon, Reis, Parker, me, Willow, Holland, Smithers

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: HAHA, I got proof

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: proof of what? that the piss test is real?

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: You are probably just the same friking pothead like me

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I don't believe you anymore HA

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: I actually do not smoke pot, nor have i ever in my life

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: in fact I can show you proof

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: I'll have to take another piss test here soon

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Can you get me in vent?

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: talking is easier the typing

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: As I said, you have to take your piss test first and post it up on the forums, in K. Swartz's office

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Ok, ill just piss on my computer >

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: well that won't exactly prove to us you don't smoke

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: if anything, you will just fuck up your own computer

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: at the least make it smell like piss

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I am talking to my source wich I am not telling, and he says its null shit

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I gotta be honest with you

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: I got scared for a bit

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: Always was a bit sceptic about it

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: Ok well i really don't know who your source is, but they must not be a very good source, prolly somebody else who hasn't taken their piss test too, we still have some that need to

SSgt. C. Bunt [1st MRB]: the new privates such as yourself.. and some even higher up that are behind on theirs

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: My source is pretty high end in the unit

----------

And heres a bit of a sound recording of the shenanigans that took place. Thank you cannon for the upload, and Parker for going along with all this

So whats the moral of the story here kids?

Weed is one hell of a gullible drug...

Edited October 23, 2013 by Parker 1st MRB

[Viktor]

"I dont smoke. I smoke pot."

WHAT?! Hahahaha!

[J. Kirk]

Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]: My source is pretty high end in the unit

So basically he's breaking the chain of command? Lol

Given the situation he talked to a ssgt the 1st sgt. Then an officer im guessing so chain of command followed! Plus I mean he did get trolled.

[Jablonski]

I hereby Deem Bunt the new unit troll. Johnson has been moved down the line accordingly.

[J. Kirk]

I hereby Deem Bunt the new unit troll. Johnson has been moved down the line accordingly.

Being racist hardly constitutes the title troll. Besides I heard the private lessons with parker about the word of the unit are making johnson a changed man.

[Stroops]

THEY SEE ME TROLLING

[Gooderham 1st MRB]

The Command Staff will be in discussion in the coming days for a new award for a troll of this magnitude. I commend you on your commitment to the task and the complete feigned sincerity in which it was carried out. Well done.

[Mullaney]

Oh Bunt!!! Things like this is why I <3 you hahaha.

[Takel 1st MRB]

Do I sound like i'm fucking kidding?

.....No?....

Perfect, so troll

kinda feel sorry for liekens though

Edited October 23, 2013 by Takel 1st MRB

[J. Liekens]

Don't put that on youtube.

I don't mind being on the forums with it but I don't want it on youtube tho.

[A. Cannon 1st MRB]

Don't put that on youtube.

I don't mind being on the forums with it but I don't want it on youtube tho.

how is bad

- No names.

- No vent.

- No forums info?

[J. Liekens]

Ah well, principal I guess.

I just like it to be fun for the inner unit, it doesn't have to go out this circle for me.

[Nielsen 1st MRB]

!!!

[Willow 1st MRB]

haha wow! how long did ya'll drag this out for? The dedication to this trolling is just amazing!

[Candy 1st MRB]

Oh, Liekens, the stories you will tell to future Privates, and the revenge!

[Yamagata 1st MRB]

And so the hazing of enlisted members took on a new level of intricacy.

[Bradley 1st MRB]

A master class in trolling. Bravo sir.

[Guest]

Trolling of the highest order. Nicely done!

[Parker 1st MRB]

Thank you.

[H. Stone 1st MRB]

I was in the bathroom shitting a brick and huh pissed the test

[Gardner2]

<font color="#008000">Pfc. J. Liekens [1st MRB]:</font> My source is pretty high end in the unit

Wow I did not know I was considered "high end"

I laughed so hard when he told me this but I did not have the heart (was doped up on tramadol dealing with back pain) to help you guys troll him so told him the truth.

Then he told me Lt.Col. Parker had told him to take off his tags, so I told him to reply that Rather told him it was a daily requirement to be in the unit and before that he never smoked weed in his life. Damn that Rather and his forcing pot on everyone he meets.

Edited October 23, 2013 by Gardner 1st MRB