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Posted

(after a night of heavily drinking)

Me: Hey jonesy

Jones: Hey Elder, your head feeling better?

Me: Nah, I'm pretty fine...

Jones: Well you didn't sound fine last night. You were pretty gone.

(a little later)

Me: Jones, was I annoying last night?

Jones: Nah, I was just laughing at everything you were saying because you made no sense what-so-ever.

Posted

Capt. Englebretson [1st MRB]: lol?

1stLt. A. Kirkendall [1st MRB]: maybe

Capt. Englebretson [1st MRB]: maybe as in sure or maybe im masturbating come back later

1stLt. A. Kirkendall [1st MRB]: maybe as in both?

1stLt. A. Kirkendall [1st MRB]: wait what?

1stLt. A. Kirkendall [1st MRB]: yea illplay

Posted

At 2:00 in the morning in vent:

Me: Chen can you touch your toes

Chen: Uh yes but why?

Me: Can you touch your toes and walk backwards

Chen: Is that for some kind of workout?

Posted
Google Translator voice: 猫は私のボールをなめる

Magoo: I dunno what she said but she sounds horny!

apparently that translator voice means cats lick my balls wait am i late..

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Me: "I'm getting to the nerdy part, dual monitors, laptop and a mini fridge full of beer"

SSgt Cayen: "That's not nerdy, the mini fridge full of beer? That's a sign of a true Canadian"

Posted

zahl: "makes a weird sound while clicking his mouse really fast"

me: that sounds wrong man

zahl: no thats because you are under age

kevin... laughs

later on ...

zahl: aww stinky cock

Posted

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you."

Posted

Ezekiel 25:17. Nice.

My personal favorite, for any one who has been in military service and knows what I am talking about:

We the unfailing, led by the uncaring, doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long, we are now eminently qualified to do anything with nothing.

Posted

After I raged from McDowell killing me with a thread of health in LOL.

Parker: Wingate it’s all right we was down a man the entire game… It's okay!

Me: Parker Listen I wouldn’t been pissed if he had half health or quarter health… BUT HE HAD THREAD OF HEALTH... IT FUCKING RIDICULES!!

Parker: Wingate!! Woosaaahhh!!

Me: Man fuck Wosah!! A thread of health… Thread-of-health!! FUCK!! I can't believe it!!

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