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Posted

Granted, the human skins used to make the ear cushions for your headset make them verycomfortable, but the police have a few questions for you...oh and the microphone is a severed penis.

I wish I had more money that i didn't have to whore myself out for.

Posted

Granted Johnny Depp and the Whole cast die in a plane crash, which was carrying the only copy of the film thats been shot already.

I wish I could move stuff telepathically.

Posted

Granted, but you don't have any control over the SPEED of which you throw things with your mind, and what and when you control it. This results in your death when you attempt to grab a knife from the counter and it ends up in your forehead.

I wish I hadn't told my girl what a Dear John Letter is.

Posted

Granted, you are now tasked with taking care of 1,000,000 clams. They are all at the bottom of the ocean and you must not let a single one die as they are a very rare species. If one dies, you are going to be assraped by an Orca Whale. Have fun.

I wish my headset hadn't broken and i didn't have to have gone out and gotten a new one.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Granted...but your grammar still sucks ass. I'm pretty sure your cognitive ability decreased to a 1st grade level and you mistook your brand new MLG headset for oreos when you dunked it in milk.

I wish the state would call and tell me they'd like to pay me more and have better benefits if I work for them!

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