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Posted

Granted, but your stash catches fire in your house and the atmosphere eventually becomes full of toxic plastic fumes due to always multiplying, destroying life on earth.

I wish I had the Force from starwars, and had as much control as a Jedi Knight.

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Posted
Granted, but then you accidentally choke yourself while you are sleeping and die.

I wish I didn't have to work and still made more money.

Granted you are now a money printing press.

I wish that Trollson trolled less.

Posted
Granted, but then you accidentally choke yourself while you are sleeping and die.

I wish I didn't have to work and still made more money.

Granted you are now a money printing press.

I wish that Trollson trolled less.

Granted, but now since the biggest troll is no longer trolling, the universe was forced to create even more trolls to make up for the lack of trolling.

I wish that demons invaded and that the only people capable of stopping the invasion was the members of the 1st MRB DoD:S realism unit lead by Parker.

Posted
I wish that demons invaded and that the only people capable of stopping the invasion was the members of the 1st MRB DoD:S realism unit lead by Parker.

Granted, but Parker kicked you from the unit and used you as live bait to lure the demons you die in the first onslaught

I wish that a live jello pit fight of all the hot cos play chicks in their skimpiest costumes was on tv right now

Posted
I wish all the good restaurants were open 24/7

Granted, but some fat kid declared that there is only 1 good restaurant and it happens to be Taco Bell and all other restaurants were destroyed as a result. Enjoy your life eating only Taco Bell till you die.

I wish that every time someone's wish is corrupted going forward that the the corrupter has to state their undying love for Small, while paying me $100.

Posted

Granted, but given that this would be incredibly retarded, the universe considers it a paradox and erases you and Small from existence.

I wish I had poutine right now.

Posted
Granted : Society starts valuing logical thinking more and more and eventually we become like the Vulcans and suppress all emotions.

I wish that my textbooks didn't cost exorbitant amounts of money.

Granted but when you graduate the highest paying job you can get only pays you $0.01/hr and your stuck in it for life....... Oh did we mention your degree secured you said job in the cow shit shovelling business.

I wish that someone would come finish fixing my house for me.

Posted
Granted but when you graduate the highest paying job you can get only pays you $0.01/hr and your stuck in it for life....... Oh did we mention your degree secured you said job in the cow shit shovelling business.

I wish that someone would come finish fixing my house for me.

Granted, but your bill is so high you are unable to pay for it and they take you too court over it. You not only end up losing the house, but you also have to pay their legal fee's; and due to your loss of home and time spent in court, you've also been fired from your job!

I wish for the end of the world.

Posted
i wish i owned Valve

Granted, we all now know who to blame for all these errors, glitches and crappy updates to DoD:s, a lynch mob is formed and we are so going to string you up after several severe beatings.

I wish I received a quarter for every time someone in the world farts.

Posted (edited)
I wish I received a quarter for every time someone in the world farts.

Granted, all 7 billion people fart simultaneously and you are crushed by 30.8 kilotons of quarters.

I wish mankind was capable of faster than light travel

Edited by Lafy BAR
Posted
I wish i had a lifetime supply of Sailor Jerry Rum

Granted, your lifetime is shortened to the remainder of your Sailor Jerry Rum supply.

I wish we lived in a communist utopia.

Posted
I wish we lived in a communist utopia.

Granted, but the Ministry of Public Service has had their eye on you, and one night you and your family mysteriously disappear never to be seen or heard from again.

I wish we knew where they hid Lafy's remains, he's almost as famous as Jimmy Hoffa now.

Posted

granted, he is buried under your house and you are arrested for murder. enjoy being anal raped.

I wish i had the worlds best computer so i don't ever need to upgrade it.

Posted (edited)
I wish I could freeze time

Granted but it only effected you and you are stuck motionless while the reminder of the world continues on around you, you are frozen in place to live out and eternity frozen in time alone.

I wish that any time I think of a super hot actress in the nude that she appers in front of me in real life

Edited by Gardner 1st MRB
Posted
I wish that any time I think of a super hot actress in the nude that she appers in front of me in real life

Granted, the hoards of naked women fleeing your house draws the attention of the police, you are convicted of sex crimes and kidnapping.

I wish human beings had separate breathing and eating holes like dolphins do, being able to choke to death is stupid.

Posted
Granted, the hoards of naked women fleeing your house draws the attention of the police, you are convicted of sex crimes and kidnapping.

I wish human beings had separate breathing and eating holes like dolphins do, being able to choke to death is stupid.

Granted, but now you've cursed us to breath through our assholes. Thanks asshole.

I wish for a giant 1st MRB dance party.

Posted
I wish for a giant 1st MRB dance party.

Granted, but the only one who shows up to dance with you is Trollson and he brought some clear fluid he would like you to add to your drink. You wake up on a remote foreign island wearing nothing but a pink thong and have what can only be describe as the taste of monkey hair in your mouth, and your skin has been died purple. Turns out the natives on the island think you are their virgin sacrifice to the volcano god, and are about to toss you over the side into the Lava.

I wish someone Youtube'd Perrone's soon to be fiery death.

Posted
Granted, but the only one who shows up to dance with you is Trollson and he brought some clear fluid he would like you to add to your drink. You wake up on a remote foreign island wearing nothing but a pink thong and have what can only be describe as the taste of monkey hair in your mouth, and your skin has been died purple. Turns out the natives on the island think you are their virgin sacrifice to the volcano god, and are about to toss you over the side into the Lava.

I wish someone Youtube'd Perrone's soon to be fiery death.

Granted, you'll be the one to record my fiery death... but I grab you and pull you into the Volcano too.

I wish for a glass which would give me infinite amount of alcoholic beverages of my choice.

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