Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN... WAIT...

CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?

Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons

Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com) — Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.

The Halifax Class frigate Vancouver.

Honest.

"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?

"Does Canada know?" he added.

"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"

When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadians sailors were carrying.

"They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship."

According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine.

The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows.

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.

http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtm

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Recent Posts

    • 2nd Platoon Weekly Attendance   Week of 13APR2025   P = Present | E = Excused | A = Absent   Platoon Staff CWO. A. Pitteway - Present 1stSgt. J. Candy -  Excused GySgt. A Yoder -  Present GySgt. R. Fielding - Excused   1st Squad Squad leader:  Cpl. M. Noel - Excused Cpl. B. Grande -  Present Cpl. R. Smith -  Present Cpl. C. Keebler - Excused Pfc. D. Moffat -  Present     2nd Squad Squad leader:  SSgt. S. Holquist - Excused Cpl. T. Scary - Present Cpl. C. Marsh - Present Cpl. W. Swift - -Present Pfc. M. Oake - Excused Pvt. R. Zera - Absent    
    • Name: Ieatalottafood   Steam I.D: STEAM_0:1:513301312   Duration of Ban: Permanent   Reasons for the Ban: tking and dropping N word in server   Demo Provided?: N   Comments: pubber made complaint via discord I witnessed the actions and banned
    • Name: Avid Eater   Steam I.D: STEAM_0:1:190401750   Duration of Ban: Permanent   Reasons for the Ban: Aimbot   Demo Provided?: Y   Comments:   avideater.dem
    • Name: jswagmoney69   Steam I.D: [U:1:211178173]   Duration of Ban: Permanent   Reasons for the Ban: inappropriate comments: "Heil Hitler, n word" couple of times    Demo Provided?: No   Comments: goose was present at the time.
    • Name: ariana grenade   Steam I.D: STEAM_0:0:830419473   Duration of Ban: Permanent   Reasons for the Ban: Team Killing and Wounding   Demo Provided?: Y/N   Comments: 7th ban in 4 months, and this one is outta here.
×
×
  • Create New...